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Ongoing Thoughts One:
By William E. Steinman:
First, I need to report that I have suffered an unexpected and unprecedented collapse of will. I have been very ill for a long time and did not realize it. It finally caught up with me two weeks ago and I have been almost non compos mentis for the last two weeks. I spent a good deal of that time in a local hospital. Technically, I was suffering from a severe case of pneumonia, but it was much more than that. I did not suffer a nervous breakdown, but that is about as close as I ever want to come. Consequently, I am doing some serious reevaluation while I travel the recovery road.
I do not know the complete cause of this situation, but I am as certain as I can be that a large part of the cause was the vicious continuing emotional assault on my psyche by the evil monsters at Earthlink. And, of course, they are even yet lurking in the weeds preparing their next assault. Meanwhile, I work toward recovery.
Part of my reevaluation effort will have me reducing the workload I have placed on myself. To that end, I will suspend the Gaffer’s column indefinitely. I will continue the “Weekly Notes” and most other things as I can. I will continue this column with a redirection of focus. I will call this column “Ongoing Thought.” That is pretty much what it will be. I will be posting my thoughts and ideas concerning the state of our culture. I will be discussing what I can do to improve our chances.
Considering that, I do intend to continue learning what I need to know to build the emission free vehicle system, but I will no longer have time to share or teach what I learn. My thrust will be two pronged now. I am still trying to solve some of the energy problems, not for the damned rabble, but to save myself. I want to build a safe corner of the world for myself and those I love, people that I deem worthy.
My second prong will be to dedicate as much energy as I can spare to bring down unethical evil people. For this, everyone I have encountered at Earthlink will be on the list. I am not plotting because I know this will take time. My method now is to wait for what I know will happen. The management monsters at Earthlink will make an error in judgment and the roof will begin to fall. When it does, I will be there with the evidence I have collected. I may already have enough to make a case, but I can wait. Just as they have lurked in the weeds waiting to attack me, I will be waiting.
I am certain, if I ever manage to build my own organization, there will be none of those kind in it. I can see to that. Unethical people are easy enough to identify. We see how it starts with power lust and greed. That is how it began in Earthlink. It is similar to Enron. Eathlink has not self destructed yet, but it will. A lot of so-called innocent people will be hurt when it happens. That is their reward for going with an evil empire. When you hire into a place, all the signs are there. You can see it, but you take the position and hope. Tough!
Meanwhile, they can wait. I have things to do and issues to discuss. This whole thing seemed to begin with the overt signs of pneumonia, but I see now that was not the case. This has been building for a long time and it simply reached critical mass. Looking back on some of what I wrote and did during that time, I can see it clearly. I was degenerating emotionally. So I ended up in the hospital. That was a good place to be. I was able to let go of all the crap and let others take charge of my life. I don’t know about you, but for an ego maniac like me, that is a very difficult thing. Surrendering control is the ultimate nightmare.
That as it may be, I did meet two very interesting people in
my sojourn. I also developed some insights and ideas about hospitals. I want to
discuss those things next with a fresh mind. At this time, I am still
exhausted, so I will defer. I am surprised I was able to say anything at all
this week. I hope it is coherent.
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