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Back to the Forum Archives Sometimes I wish I were wealthy, but not for the reasons you are thinking. I would like to build an alternative to the so called Indian casinos for emotionally healthy people. I picture this as a complex of hotels, restaurants, entertainments clubs, theaters, golf courses, tennis courts, etcetera. It could be built anywhere that was near to the intersection of two or more major expressways. The idea is, this place would have all of the things adults want for a vacation except the pandering to and profiteering from their human pathologies. Right now, we have a choice of going from one extreme to another. On the one end of the spectrum we have casinos that pander to emotional illnesses. On the other end we have the fundamentalist religious based outfits that offer good clean fun, like hot cocoa and cookies with your sermons. Let's get something in between, something real that real people can enjoy. Picture the best of Bourbon Street, the best of Nashville, the New York theater district, with San Francisco and Chicago bars, restaurants, dance bars, and comedy clubs sprinkled into the mix. For physical relief, picture pools, a lake, ski slopes, golf courses, racquet ball and tennis courts, and a few nineteenth holes. Of course, this could not be done in Michigan. It would be impossible to get the liquor permits. For sure, vacationers can get all of these things now, but they must travel all over the country to access all of them. I would like to have the whole shot in one place. I would cost a huge fortune to build, but what a wonderful complex it would be. Okay, let's get a bit more specific. I have been on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. I was in a little hole in the wall place that featured a three, sometimes four, piece group of musicians who played the old style music. I think you know the ones, Saint Louie Woman, Muskrat Ramble, When the Saints Come Marching in. You know, the stuff Louie played and Ella sang. That is just one kind of place we need. We also need a real piano bar. I have been in one or two, but they are rare. I am thinking of a bar where the piano player plays ragtime like Scott Joplin wrote. I think you get the idea. We need several different kind of hole in the wall places like that, places where people can go pub hopping. Now for contrast, how about a theater in the round doing Shakespear. It should do a different play every day with two performances. Next to that we need a Broadway type theater or two where all of the plays are done on stage by real people. They should do the new plays and the classics too. Here again we need two performances a day. And, of course, a music hall is a must, suitable for visiting or resident orchestras with guest conductors. Big band type and ballroom dance halls could be supported in a complex this size. As to restaurants there should be cuisine and style to fit every palate and every price range. It should range from burger bars to French elegance. Chinese, Italian, Middle Eastern, and Mexican are must haves as are Greek, Spanish, and Korean. You know, the whole range. Even Texas Chili belongs. The hotels I visualize are of two general types. One is family oriented where kids are accommodated. The others are peace, quite, and order oriented. We can fill the range from first class elegance to no frills simplicity. Each should have an attached restaurant suiting its style. Some will have exercise rooms, tennis courts, and racquet ball courts that can be reserved in advance. Swimming pools will also be part of some of these accommodations. Also, there would be internet access in all rooms for those who are on working vacations. We should also have a 36 hole golf course. As I picture it, this whole complex is built on a property with a wetland wilderness area within it. The golf course would be designed to preserve the wilderness while taking advantage of the natural beauty of it. This design and construction must be created with the oversight and participation of the local department of natural resources. Also, on this property would be either a natural or man made lake with a beach and a boat launch for fishing or just sailing. I would be against power boats on a lake of this size. The hazard would be too serious and the noise would be unbearable. If we want sound, we want it in the form of music. For the same reason, carnival type of entertainment would not be provided. No rides or carny music. When people reserved their accommodations, they could also reserve T-times and court times, even theater tickets for the performances they would like to see. There would be a guarded parking lot near the entrance where the guests arrive and park. They would not have to walk. A slow moving shuttle would pick them up and take them to their hotel. In fact, for safety reasons, no personal vehicles could be allowed in this complex. The shuttles would be a constant service throughout the complex with frequent stops so the guests could move easily and effortlessly from place to place, day and night. One thing I would like to feature in this complex would be an Avenue of Heros. I picture it as a walking path in a park-like area. Along this path would be life-size statues of the real heros of history. Each statue would have a plaque explaining the achievements of the person. For sure, this would be a source of revenue. Booklets about these heros would be sold in all of the gift shops written by (who else?) me. Off the top of my head I know that Ben Franklin, George Washington, and John Adams would be there. One or two other presidents would be there, but most would not. Alan Turing would be there along with Winston Churchill, Robert E. Lee, Lincoln, and Einstein. Betty Friedan, Leonard Bernstein, and many others would be included. This is something that would have to be thought out, but others could be added if we left someone out. In an opposite vein we could have an Avenue of Villains through a swamp somewhere in the complex. Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and Osama Bin Laden would be there. Caesar would most likely qualify, as would most of the popes of history. Henry VIII would, for sure, be there as would good old King George. I'm sure there are other things and features that should be
in this complex. I shall pick up on some of them in a future
essay. I have not thought it through completely, but this piece
gives the picture. What a vacation! It's just a nice place that
combines all of the features you have seen spread around the
country, but all in one place and one vacation.
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