The Forum
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An Audience With Booboo 6: Once again I have been favored by the great Booboo with a short audience. I had prepared myself with a list of questions collected from interested friends and readers. I was also allowed to use a tape recorder so I could get it right. Here is the verbatim transcript of my audience.
Huh? Okay. Booboo, who is Al_Zawahiri? |
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Booboo, how can we achieve enlightenment?
Enlightenment is within the task when it is done selflessly and impeccably.
But, Booboo, what if my task is cleaning crappers?
Then you must become the most impeccable crapper cleaner who
has ever pushed a plunger or flushed a bowl.
What should we do about terrorists, Booboo?
First you must capture them then you must observe what I do with
a mouse to know what to do with a terrorists.
But Booboo, not wishing to be disrespectful, but you do terrorize
mice and then you kill them.
Just so.
Isn't that a bit revengeful Booboo?
Not at all, it is simply the message you wish to send. This is
what will happen to you if you choose to do what he did.
Booboo, what can we do about homosexuals?
It is best to do nothing.
But aren't they a threat to our basic values?
No more so than gamblers or alcoholics.
I don't understand, Booboo.
Homosexuality, gambling, and alcoholism are life style choices.
They are not contagious diseases. You don't catch them, you choose
them.
I had thought these things were illnesses.
To be sure, these life styles usually come out of some kind of
neurosis. It's one way of escaping reality.
Then we can heal them?
Not at all. People who do not want to change will not change.
Booboo, how should we respond to evangelists?
Just agree with them.
Agree booboo, why should we do that?
If you agree with them, they will leave you alone. They are simple
minded and easily fooled.
What is America's greatest strength?
There is great diversity in the forms of insanity in America
so it is very difficult for any one to dominate for long.
What can we do to control overweight?
Eat slowly and savor the flavor.
Booboo, how many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
There are not enough politicians in the world to change a light
bulb or anything else.
But there must be millions of politicians in the world.
Just so.
What should we do with money, Booboo?
Invest it or spend it.
Should we not save it, Booboo?
Money is like Draino, You must put it into the pipes so it can
keep things moving, otherwise it has no value. You might as well
save pretty rocks.
Should we invest in the stock market?
You could have more fun at a casino.
What do you mean?
The market is not a medium for investment, it is a medium for
gambling.
Will we ever have a thoughtful president Booboo?
No!
What prevents it Booboo?
Only charlatans and fools will seek the job.
Why Booboo?
It is impossible for a president to do good. At best he will
do no harm.
What about Sexism, Booboo? Is it real?
It is very real.
Why can't we overcome it?
The champions of the cause have diverted a great deal of attention
and energy into irrelevant issues and even nonissues.
For example?
They make a great deal of noise about language conventions which
are just that, conventions with no political meaning.
What should they do instead?
Do what some men do, seize the brass ring. Sex is irrelevant
to those in power.
How can we achieve peace, Booboo?
Peace is a state of mind.
Like Nirvana?
That is one choice.
How can I reach Nirvana?
Just do you duty and it will come to you.
What is my duty, Booboo?
After you provide my tabby treats just do the next task that
presents itself.
What should I do when someone makes me angry?
Thank them for the lesson.
Thank them or the lesson, Booboo?
For sure. We learn from those who make us angry.
Should I always plan before I act, Booboo?
If you have time it's okay, but planning is no match for luck.
Booboo, have you ever given a straight answer to a question?
Of course not!
Is that a straight answer, Booboo?
Of course!
Should we speak out against war, Booboo?
If you wish.
Do you mean it doesn't matter?
Everyone talks. Nobody hears.
How can I make people listen?
Speak in a whisper.
People will hear me if I whisper?
No, they will listen, but they will still not hear.
Is there no hope?
There is always hope. Hope springs eternal for not much reason
at all.
Is it useful to pray, Booboo?
Serving you community would be more useful.
But, what about our duty to God?
I have no evidence that God needs help more than you neighbors.
How can we help poor people, Booboo?
Offer to put handles on their bootstraps.
Is that all? Can't I try to save them?
You must realize that you can save a man from pretty much everything
but himself.
But the poor suffer so much!
Not true. Pain and suffering visits the poor and the wealthy
with an even hand.
I don't see suffering in the wealthy.
Of course you don't. Fools will always mistake the facade for
reality.
Please explain to my simple mind.
The wealthy are more skilled at dealing with adversity. That
is why they are wealthy.
I see, well thank you Booboo. Those are all of the questions
I have. This has been a very enlightening interview.
It's a living. Just be make sure you leave the tabby treats.
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