|
|||
|
Back to the Forum Archives As a less expensive and less dangerous solution I suggest trained attack rats. We have specially trained dogs, why not rats? What if we could breed and train rats to go into those caves and eat the terrorists? They would be similar to attack dogs, but instead we could use millions of attack rats. W e could take them near the caves and release them in millions where they could swarm into the caves seeking food, any kind of food, people to eat. The bravest terrorist in the world would begin to cry like a baby if he saw hundreds of rats swarming toward him. He would forget about dying for the glory of Islam. He would drop his weapon, pee his pants, and crumble in terror. He would disintegrate emotionally and intellectually. He would turn to putty. In short, he would act just like you or I would in that situation. This is like something out of a really bad horror movie. Some folks will shudder at the thought of subjecting human beings to something as awful as that. You might wonder how I could even think up such a monstrous idea. To tell the truth, sometimes I frighten myself. For sure, Mrs. Gaffer shuddered and looked at me askance when I tried to discuss it with her. For the record, let's consider the people we are talking about. These are people who have no conscience. These are the same people who were happy to fly fuel laden aircraft into buildings where the resultant fire burned hundreds of people to death. Thousands of people died on that day. Think of that. These terrorists laughed when the news of those murders came to them. Sending man eating rats after these people would not be evil. It would be a service to humanity. What's more, I think we can do it. For sure, we would have to be a bit carful in the breeding. We don't want to accidentally breed a super rat. We would not want this program to get out of control. We would want to do some genetic engineering to ensure against that. My plan is to breed rats that would die six months after their birth. I would also make sure they were sterile in the second (attack) generation. Of course, the breeding stock could not be sterile but they could carry the defective second generation gene. For stock, I don't think we want city or wharf rats. They are quite large and difficult to handle. I would select the smaller common field rat that lives in the wild and invades our farmers granaries. They are destructive little buggers, and clever for their size as any farmer will tell you. They also breed well. Given optimum conditions, we could breed billions of these little guys for less than the cost of one Stealth Bomber. Just in case, we would probably want the breeding farm to be on some remote Pacific island. Rats can swim, but not forever. That way if something went amiss we could just flood the place with gasoline and ignite it. I would not anticipate any such necessity, but I'm sure most folks would rather have a prison next door that a rat breeding farm. So let's be reasonable and put the farm where people ain't. With a couple of good genetic engineers and a few months we
could begin our campaign of terror against the terrorists. Happy
Muharram Usama!
|