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Back to the Forum Archives I was recently flabbergasted to discover that there are almost 2 & 1/2 million files on my main computer. This is according to Norton SystemWorks 2003 from Symantec corporation. For those who don't know, that is a package of computer utilities. The most important of these, to me at this time, is the Norton AntiVirus program. By that I'm sure you have guessed the punch line. I got hit with some computer viruses. I was on the internet trying to get my e-mail a few days back, when everything went to heck. I got a system message that said it was shutting me down. Some program had made a call to another program that malfunctioned in some way. It was all very confusing except for the window that had a countdown clock showing just a few seconds remaining. That was all too real and all too true. Before I could think of what to do, my computer was turned off. Needless to say, I was a bit perturbed. I sent my usual mental curse toward Redmond and proceeded to reboot. After a few minutes on the internet, the same thing happened. Again I was shut down. I am nothing if not bullheaded. If I forget that, my wife will quickly notify me. Very foolishly, I tried again. This time the up time was even shorter and I realized, too late, that it was not Bill Gates this time. At least it was not Bill Gates directly. It turned out that my computer still worked, but I could not log onto the internet without crashing instantly. Besides being bullheaded, I am also paranoid. For that reason, I have three other computers, two of which I can quickly connect to the internet. I am very careful to keep all of these computers current with all of my data files. I do that through my local area network. The upshot is, I had another computer that still worked and I was able to access the internet. That solved my immediate problem, but left me with a big one. I still did not know what happened to my main computer? That question was answered the same evening by the channel 12 local news people. Yes, I always watch the news so I can be current when I snipe at Gee Doubleyou. Back to the point. It turned out that I was not the only victim. The culprit was a thing called the Blaster worm. It had been released onto the internet by some punk swine somewhere. I was sure it was the same worm, because they described my symptoms very accurately. It turned out that the worm took advantage of a trapdoor in the Windows Operating System. You see, it was not Bill Gates — directly. Channel 12 had a link to the Microsoft site with the plug for this hole. Using my backup, I connected to that site and downloaded the patch. I then copied it to my main computer and installed it. In theory that plugged the hole but I still had the worm that came through it. Microlimp's advice was classic about that. You ought to get a virus package and fix that, was the notice that came with the patch. In other words, tough, it ain't our problem. While shopping the next day, I picked up a copy of Symantec's Norton SystemWorks 2003. In all honesty, I did not expect it to solve my problem, but it was a first step. Since I had a computer that worked, I could take my time and be systematic. It turns out that this worm only attacks Windows XP systems. My backup has Windows 98. If that had not been the case, my response would have been a bit more dramatic. I would have formatted my hard drive and rebuilt the system. That would have taken two days, but I have found it is often faster than trying to find an obscure problem. I have never trusted any software and I especially mistrust utility software. I have found it to be counterproductive for the most part. So I opened the Norton package with some trepidation. As I expected, I got my first told-ya-so on page 7 of the manual on pre-installation. It is a true classic of manual writer stupidity. If you don't believe me find the manual and look at it. First question: Can you establish a connection to the internet? On my working computer I tried to go to service.symantec.com. I could not go there. My browser got diverted to a site that was trying to sell me a competitive virus product. How did that happen? I have no idea, not did I try to find out. I got off of that site as quickly as I could. Then I did what I usually do right at first. I installed the Norton software from the disk and tried to run it. It did install and it tried to register the product over the net. Of course it could not do that, so I printed a copy of the stuff to mail to Symantec. Since I bought this product off of the shelf after the virus attack, I knew I would not have the fix for it in the package. The first thing I tried to do was download the latest updates. That failed as I expected. What to do? Nothing about this software of its instructions is simple or straightforward. I'm not sure what I did, but after dinking around I somehow managed to get past the bug to a Symantec secure site page. The information there was not designed for mortals. It was cryptic and difficult. They expect all users to be computer wizards. They expect us mortals to navigate a website that resembles the Paris sewer system in design. I did finally manage to find an all purpose patch that I downloaded. It took about 2 hours. After installing this patch, I ran the virus program. That was very frustrating while being, at the same time, educational. To scan 2,441,380 files on my computer took 8 hours, 32 minutes, and 17 seconds. I went out and had a cigar and a couple of beers on the deck. I also talked to my doggie. I'll tell you abut dogs in the next essay. I picked some jalapeno peppers and cleaned them. I also fed my doggie. Then I had dinner with a glass or two of Chianti. For dessert I had a Klondike bar. Then I took the dog for a walk. When the program finally finished it presented a summary. It claimed to have repaired 237 infected files of the 241 it had found. As I expected, the 4 that were not repaired were the only ones that were causing my problems. I still could not get on the internet. At this point I was ready to give up, blow off Norton, format the hard drive, and start over. I decided to try one more thing first. I tried the live update procedure and was stunned to discover it worked. It got to the secure site and downloaded the latest updates. Then it automatically repaired the last 4 instances of viruses. With trembling fingers, I logged onto the internet. It worked. By this time, I was too exhausted, physically and emotionally, to do extensive testing of my system. I knew I should, but I could not. I simply sat there and cried for a while then went to bed. The next day, I did check almost everything out. I found that a very frustrating day had been a day well spent. Kudos to Symantec for software that works. Boos to Symantec for obscure, incorrect, and cryptic instructions. What were the actual viruses found? There is an epidemic in our culture. Scum bags have oozed out everywhere. We have to spend too much of our time and energy protecting ourselves now and the government does nothing to help. Years ago, I never locked a door. Now I always lock my doors. Two old people were beaten to death with a hammer in their beds a few miles from where I live. Just yesterday I got an official looking e-mail with a sender address of support@earthilnk-identity.com. It demanded that I input my current credit card information immediately or have my website shut down. I sent a hasty and angry e-mail of my own to support@earthlink.com. They responded immediately. The e-mail I had received was a fraud by some internet thief who wanted to steel my credit card numbers. I still have to send an apology to Eathlink support for the tone and words of my hasty e-mail. I'll do that. They finally caught one of the slimeballs involved in the Blaster virus. As I suspected, he was a puffy faced fat assed punk loser. If it was up to me, he would get life in prison to make up for the damaged he had done and his parents would be fined into bankruptcy. My guess is he will walk away with a wrist slap and his parents will get away with a plea of, "How could we know?" Sure! Recently I had to redirect all of my regular mail to a P.
O. Box because of attempts at identity theft, mine. Now it's
these slimeballs with their worms and viruses. Sad as it is,
I am going to have to include a fire wall and virus protection
in my computer strategy. From now on I cannot build a new system
without including these tools. It's costly and inconvenient,
but necessary because of the slimy scumbags oozing around the
innards of the internet. Where is Draco when we need him?
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