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Willie's Thoughts 12-30-02:
By Willie Gaffer:
December 30, 2002:
Mousse:
When I was young I was kind of dumb. When someone told me to
use mousse in my hair, I used chocolate mousse. I plastered it
on my head. Then a lonely fat matron discovered me. That's how
I lost my hair. She tried to eat my head but she ended up just
licking the frosting off. She had a very rough tongue. My head
was raw and my hair never grew back.
Title Nine:
It's about equal opportunity and involves woman's athletic programs.
The colleges are sucking up to the feds to get federal grants.
This makes them vulnerable to blackmail. So now they have to
cancel men's athletic programs to get a balance between woman's
and men's athletics. Of course, if the schools really want to
run their own programs, all they must do is stop taking government
money. It's not a law for all schools, just those which take
bribes from the feds. If they were not taking government bribes,
they would not have to comply.
Here is the entire law as signed into law by President Richard
Nixon on June 23, 1972. "No person in the United States
shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in,
be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination
under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial
assistance."
Since then, several different neanderthal legislators have
tried to amend the law to preserve the hallowed male dominance.
Among them were, of course, Helms of North Carolina and Tower
of Texas. One way to measure the fairness of a law is to see
where the turkeys like these two stand. If they are for it, you
can bet it is unfair to someone. If they are against it, it is
more than likely fair.
Some coaches and athletic directors are complaining that Title
Nine will destroys athletics in college. I hope it does. That
would be good in the long run. Perhaps then we would sit down
to think and try to figure out what the heck we have colleges
for. Why do colleges exist? Were they really meant to be professional
athlete factories? Is the intent to create gladiator entertainers?
Or; could it possibly be that the purpose of our universities
is to educate people, to challenge their minds? Could the purpose
really be to make them into useful, creative citizens instead
of running backs?
About being a Curmudgeon:
People sometimes point out a curmudgeon like Rooney and say you
will like this guy. He's a lot like you. That is dumb. Why in
the world could someone think that one curmudgeon would like
another one? Would one beautiful woman like another beautiful
woman? Would one emperor like another emperor? Competitors do
not like each other. That is a silly notion.
Mistress:
Every normal married man wants a mistress. It is something we
dream and daydream about. It's a secret if not overt wish. So,
if you want to attract the best men to your organization, provide
them with, at least, a symbolic mistress. These could be like
the Dallas Cow Girls or an attractive executive secretary. The
point is, the mistress need not be a functional entity. She can
be symbolic.
Natural Selection:
Let's not interfere with natural selection. If emotionally dysfunctional
motorcyclists and rollerskaters want to spread their brains over
the pavement, we should not interfere by making them wear helmets.
It's not a big deal to clean up the mess and it is one less buffoon
out there getting in the way.
Rescues:
Jennings, May 31, 3003: People who do stupid and dangerous things
just for the rush, should not be rescued without having to pay
the cost of the rescue. Some fools tried to climb a mountain
and screwed up. For sure they called to be rescued. Some air
rescue people crashed a chopper in the attempt. The fools that
needed the rescue should have to pay for that chopper and for
the hospital costs of the servicemen who were injured. Tax payers
should not have to pay that. The criteria should be, did the
people get in trouble because of an act of God or Nature, or
did they deliberately put themselves in harms way for a thrill.
In the latter case, they should have to pay for the rescue. I'd
go so far as to demand that they put up a surety bond before
being allowed to go out on their adventure.
Energy Crisis:
People say we have an energy crisis, but they will not discuss
it. Whenever it comes up, they start talking about oil instead
of energy. The question to be address is how can we produce enough
energy? How can we insure that we supply America's energy needs?
As long as we concentrate on oil, we are not addressing the real
problem. It is not how we get more oil or use less oil. It's
how we get more energy. Let's not shrink ourselves through conservation.
Let's look outward as we have always done. Let's figure out how
to get abundant cheap energy.
That Scooter:
The Government or the Army or someone ought to get that guy who
developed that damn scooter and get him too design a military
chopper that does not tip over and crash or explode every time
we try to use it.
Fries and:
I think I'll go to Japan and open up a MacGaffer's fast food
chain. I'll serve up a MacSushi burger with fries and saki. In
China I could offer a MacFuYong burger with fries and green tea.
Easy Crime:
In Flint the mayor used city funds to pay his personal legal
fees. The city council caught him and he finally paid the money
back. Then the council filed a complaint against him with the
State of Michigan. The state said in effect, that's okay. He
gave the money back. Does anyone suppose that if I robbed a bank
and got caught, I could just give the money back and walk away?
Right!
About Adults in Kids Sports:
What happens when adults get involved in kids activities. There
was an ABC evening news report many months ago. It was about
a fourteen year old kid who played in a championship little league
series. He pitched a perfect game. Only problem was, he was over
age for that league. Who lied about his age? His father, his
coach, and every other adult involved in that teams activities.
He was disqualified and all the other kids on the team got to
forfeit every game they played that year. Really great, eh?
All of that, just to win. Is that for the kids? No way! This
must win at any cost that adults lay on kids is unconscionable.
The kid cheated. He knew he was cheating, but he did it to
please his adult mentors. Will the kid ever recover from that
mental trauma? Probably not. Is this sports? Is this what kids
should be doing? Tell me no one else is teaching kids to cheat.
Tell me this was an unfortunate isolated incident. I say bull!
It's happening all of the time in all adult supervised activities
for kids. Open your eyes and look at what we are doing to our
kids.
Labor Saving Devices.
I have so many labor saving devices which need repair that I
don't have time to use the ones which work. I have to fix the
hose reel O ring, the grass catcher, the Tractor, the sprayer,
the lawn mower, and the drill. I think we should have stopped
with the wheelbarrow and never went any farther.
Bristol Screws:
If you buy something and find it was put together with Bristol
screws to keep you from taking it apart, never ever buy that
product brand again. They don't want you to open it up to see
how cheaply it was made.
What's Next?:
Scientific breakthroughs in the computer electronics industry
have lead the charge up until now. There will soon be scientific
breakthroughs in some other arena which will lead the charge
into the future. We should be watching for that. There are several
areas to watch. Energy is the biggest that I see now. Communication
is not far behind and transportation is in dire need of a new
look. For all of these, the computers will be merely tools, not
primary driving forces.
Pig Pow:
There is an environmental guy in Canada. He says that putting
2000 pigs in one place creates a pollution problem. He also says
that if you spread 2000 pigs out over ten places you have fertilizer.
Both statements cannot be true. They contradict each other. The
second one is true. The first is not. 2000 pigs in one place
need not be a pollution problem. If you treat pig pow as a resource,
2000 pigs in one place is a fertilizer factory in addition to
being a meat factory. What is wrong in North Carolina is not
that pigs are being raised in quantity in small areas. What's
wrong is that the pig farmers are ignorant and stupid.
Felonies:
In a local Michigan community, the powers in charge threatened
to punish a kid who called in a bomb threat. They threatened
to take away his driver's license. Bomb threats are felonies
and should be so treated. They are not pranks. An incident which
causes 1000 kids to miss a day of their education is not a prank.
An incident which misdirects the fire and law enforcement resources
of an entire community is not a prank. It is not a funny incident.
It is a serious felony. The people who do it should be treated
as though they had actually carried out the threat. There should
be no difference in the punishment for bombing a building and
threatening to bomb a building. Taking away a kids drivers license
is not a proper penalty. It is not even relevant to the crime.
Prison is a proper penalty for a felony.
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