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Back to the Forum 2006
Archives If you could ask for and be granted one thing, what would it be? How about absolute, unconditional forgiveness? Wouldn't that be nice? Considering all of the unnecessary pain I have caused it would be more than nice. It would be absolution in the extreme. The very thought of it puts a pulse in my heart. Unfortunately, forgiveness is not a bonus. It is sure not something we can buy. I believe it is something we must earn. For that, each of us must find our own way of earning it, but I believe there is one common condition. I am sure the down payment is in forgiving everyone else. We must unconditionally forgive all of those whom we now hold in blame. I think doing that is requisite to our continuing progress. I have talked about God Awareness as a goal. I have also recorded that I think the level beyond God awareness is to bring all of the unconscious into consciousness. To be sure, I am not yet at God Awareness. I have a mighty distance to travel for even that. Now I am discovering there is a plateau which seems to be an obstacle to further movement toward my goals. Before I can continue, I really must unconditionally forgive everyone. Until I do that I will struggle to make further progress. I feel I am stuck. It is like being at a pivot point and unable to move forward. I cannot advance beyond that point. I am convinced to move I must honestly and unconditionally forgive everyone. From where I am, the terms of growth are simple. To advance beyond a particular point, I must forgive. Only then can I ask for the forgiveness which I need. Let's look at what that means. I do not think it means we become passive and accept any and all insults. It does not mean we do not act to defend ourselves or neutralize threats. It means we must forgive people. For that, we must separate those two concepts of revenge and self preservation. Rational, even preemptive, self defense is not incompatible with a philosophy of forgiveness. These are two different things. In forgiveness, it is not necessary to say, what you did is alright. It is only necessary to say I forgive what you did. We can also act to correct damage or remove danger, even as we do forgive. It is important to differentiate between defensive action and vengeful action. It's about motive, not behavior. If we want absolute forgiveness, there can be no malice in our hearts. None! Okay, how difficult is that? I used to believe it was impossible for me. No matter how I rationalized the events of my life, I still found seeds of anger in my heart. I found malice and thoughts of revenge. That was before I understood forgiving is a necessary condition to my own entry into a state of grace. Now, as I ponder it, I think it may not as difficult as I thought. In fact, I may even be able to go beyond forgiveness is some cases. I should also offer thanks. I should take the time to thank the people who have helped me to grow. I should especially thank the people who have cheated and/or attack me, for they have been most instrumental in my growth. They have made me enormously stronger. I should thank them all very much. In particular, I should thank the people who have attack me with malice or greed. Malice and greed are equal in my theory of human behavior. They are equal, that is, in the destruction of the souls of those who foster them. There were others who damaged me through laziness or by accident. I don't have as much respect for them, but they were still helpful to me. Now, it seems the ability to forgive may be a matter of putting things in the right perspective. I do not claim to have arrived yet, but I think I am developing the right attitude. It is a matter of seeing my life as a series of lessons rather than as a series of random events. In that light, I cannot even be sure how to regard those who were the apparent adversaries. I cannot say for sure that they were not merely instruments, part of the lesson plan so to speak. So, why not forgive them? This will get the malice out of my heart. Now, I do not recommend that you walk up to a person and say I forgive you. That is not the point. Also, ill advised behavior like that is not likely to have a salutary effect on the other person. It is much more likely to get you a well deserved split lip. The forgiveness I speak of is an event in your own soul and heart, nowhere else. Only you and your soul-self will know when you forgive. If others notice anything, it will be an aura of peace which may come over you. As I said, I believe forgiving others is the down payment to our own absolution. It is just the first step. After that we must enforce our commitment to the next step by giving unconditionally, without expectation. What and how we give is a personal thing. Jimmy Carter found a way which seems to work for him. Most wealthy people still think they can buy it. That, I believe, will not work. The way to final forgiveness must be in the form of unconditional giving in one way or another. We cannot do it by proxy. Cash in the poor box is nice, but it is not a purchase of forgiveness, regardless of popular belief. Neither is a bunch of Hail Mary's or Our Fathers. Also foundations do not answer. It's nice for a rich person to set up a foundation to do good works and just continue with business as usual. Trouble is, it does not help him. The giving must be personal. That is why Jesus talked about a camel and the eye of a needle. It is not easy for a powerful man to stoop. Most cannot manage it. In the end, each of us must find our own and very personal
way to give and serve. It need not be something spectacular.
It need only be from within and true to ourselves. At this time,
my way is to communicate and share, for those who want it, what
I have learned.
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