Diagnosis and Health

The Gaffer 2008 Archive

Back to Gaffer 2008.

Gaffer 2008:

Wishes 2008 G01:

By Willie Gaffer

January 7, 2008:

If hopes were ropes, I’d be all bound up. If wishes were dishes, I’d be a china shop.

Last week I reconfirmed my resolutions for the coming year. They are my personal plans and wishes for maintaining my own self respect, an interest in life, and a sense of humor about it all. That was for me. This week, just as I did last year, I would like to talk about what I wish for my world and the folks in it. That’s all of you, the good, the not so good, and the down right mean. I have hopes and wishes for everyone. Some of these are the same as previous years. Some are new or amended.

I wish we could find a solution to the global warming problem. Unless we solve that problem, nothing else will matter. I know we have the technology to do that. Unfortunately, I do not have the resources to marshal that technology and the people who do will not do it. It is beyond the point where they can claim ignorance. The problem is much too obvious. The reason for their failure is either stupidity or greed. Nothing else can account for it.

I still wish for a real cure for AIDS.

I want a complete and final cure. This cure should include a simple preventative tool or method. I believe in science. Scientists did it for Polio, they did it for Smallpox and I know they can do it for AIDS. It is a matter of investing the necessary resources.

I wish our president would hide in his office and not do another thing until he is replaced.

I wish we could find a human being to be our president.

I wish our representatives and senators were ethical.

I wish our scientific community would give their attention to the real needs of humanity.

It really makes me angry to see scientific research funds being wasted to grow hair on bald, vain, stupid men. I am totally bald and it is really okay. It’s okay with Mrs. Gaffer and all of my friends. It jerks me off to see funds being dibbled away to give emotionally and intellectually dysfunctional men an artificial sexual function. Is that really what life is about? Quit being dishonest and your hardware will probably start to work naturally. I also wearies me to see funds being spent on methods for making more babies when we already have millions of hungry unwanted children in this world. I get particularly angry to see physicians helping rickety egomaniacal old broads have babies that they will not be able to care for. We don’t have research dollars to waste. It is not only the AIDS epidemic, which is left wanting. There is enormous research work to be done in, Alzheimer’s, Cancer, Heart Disease, Stroke prevention and recovery, and countless other areas of real human suffering.

I wish I could find time to create a turnkey alternative to the Wintel PC.

I wish Jessie Jackson would become religious.

I wish the Muslim clerics would become religious and ethical.

I wish our president were ethical.

I wish Americans could be persuaded to stop using drugs.

I wish America would stop wasting resources trying to stop the drug trade. So long as people want drugs, stopping the trade is impossible.

I wish George would admit failure and get our kids out of that Iraq hellhole.

I wish the HMO industry would get so honest that our government would not want to bother regulating it.

I wish everyone in the world had enough to eat.

I wish that no one would ever go to bed hungry, or cold, or frightened again. The thing that is sickening about this is there is enough food. There really is no shortage. There is an enormous shortage of human decency. There are locally powerful evil people with territorial and power goals who are in the way of feeding and caring for millions of desperate people.

I wish the arms makers of the world would stop supplying Croatia, Ireland, and the Middle East.

It is said that the times produce the man. I wish Russia would produce a man or woman of the times to lead them out of the coming fascism and into a viable democracy.

I wish the same for China.

I wouldn’t even care if they had dumbocracies like ours.

I wish all of the world’s religions would stop pretending they have a complete explanation and complete understanding of the divine mystery.

I wish they would stop teaching bigotry, fear, and mistrust.

I wish all kids would be nurtured by their parents, to the point that they could not even conceive of committing murder.

I wish we could take the money we are urinating away in Iraq and spend it on healthcare.

I wish our schools would teach ethics to our kids.

I wish our president would sign the Kyōto Treaty and stop giving the excuse to China and India.

I wish our so-called public servants really were.

I wish our army had more soldiers than officers.

I wish the media would cover education as though it were more important than football.

I wish intercity kids would stop killing each other.

I wish we could get politics out of the adoption scene so every kid could have a loving family. There really are enough families who want kids to love.

I wish our social workers would begin to do their jobs so kids did not keep getting killed by crazy people.

I wish we had a national academy like West Point to train police officers.

I wish that everyone who wanted one could have a garden.

I wish people who hate to cook would stay out of the kitchen.

I wish the major corporations of the world would stop polluting our water and soil.

I wish our courts would stop colluding with major corporations in the rape of stockholders and workers.

I wish for a human colony on the moon and another one on Mars.

I also wish for a better way of getting people into space rather the having them sit on the ends of huge bombs and blowing them off.

I wish everyone in the world had one good friend they could count on.

Finally, peace on earth, good will to and from all people.