Once again, I have been lucky enough to obtain an audience with The Great Booboo. It was a profound and enlightening experience. Here is the verbatim report of our interview.

Booboo, what is the nature of God?
God is simply an elevated state of consciousness.

That sounds mysterious.
Some call it a divine mystery.

Booboo, how can we best open to this divine mystery?
With great humility.

To be sure, Booboo, but are there techniques or practices that help?
None that are certain. Eschew distractions. Try not to belch, fart, or yawn.

What else can we do?
Reduce your demands from life to the basics.

What do you mean by the basics?
Beyond the simple basic needs like food shelter and safety, each person needs someone to care for and something meaningful to do.

Don't I need someone to love me?
That would be a self indulgent distraction from your journey.

Booboo, you once said the major difference between women and men is that women can produce offsprings and men cannot. What about the other differences?
There are none of significance.

But, there are very apparent differences in behavior.
To be sure, there are conditioned differences.

These behavioral disparities are all conditioned differences?
Yes. Appearances can be misleading.

For example?
In some Eastern cultures it was common at one time to bind women's feet. This made it appear that the women were crippled, but it was nothing more than a particularly brutal form of conditioning. Most cultural conditioning is slightly more subtle than that.

When you force something into a mold, that does not determine it's nature, only it's form?
There is hope for you.

How do we achieve moderation?
You must travel a bit. Moderation is a small town in Ohio near Temperance.

What is the meaning of the phrase, "Some people stop looking for work when they get a job?"
This simply means that these people have acquired management potential.

How can we help those who can't seem to get out of bed and face each day?
Just remind them that it beats the alternative.

The alternative, Booboo?
Not being able to get out of bed.

Booboo, how should I deal with those who are my enemies?
Just forgive them.

That's not an easy thing Booboo.
I can be once you realize how much it galls them.

What can we do when life becomes too difficult?
Just remember that it's the only game in town.

Should we prepare ourselves for Armageddon?
It can't happen yet. I'm not ready.

Why must we grow old Booboo?
It gives you some time to think about what you should have done.

How do we begin a journey of 1000 miles Booboo?
It's probably a good idea to use the restroom first.

How can we best use our time on earth?
Just realize that your time is a nonrenewable resource.

Should we always tell the truth?
It beats having to remember everything you say.

How can we help handicapped people Booboo?
Realize that everyone is handicapped and treat everyone with respect.

Everyone is handicapped Booboo?
Yes. With some, it is physical and shows.

Shouldn't we make concessions for the physically handicapped?
If you wish to have them dependent.

What else can we do?
Treat everyone the same.

What do you mean?
Always offer opportunities for fulfillment to everyone you can.

How can we make the world a better place Booboo?
Do your duty.

That's all? Can't we help people?
If you wish.

Why shouldn't I wish to help people?
Is it your wish to create dependancies or to help people?

Oh!
Think it through.

Then we should leave people alone?
That's usually a good idea unless you pretend to the wisdom of God.