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On Lawsuits and Cliches:
A few days ago, we discovered that it is possible to go into a legal court with a straight face and sue someone for using cliches. It's not only possible, it seems it is being done. According to the ABC, Channel 12 news, MasterCard is suing Ralph Nader for using cliches, with the claim that these are special cliches and the intellectual property of MasterCard. The stupidity of the courts lies in the fact that these are phrases which were in common usage before the concept of charge cards came into being.

What in the world is happening to our legal system? What kind of insane judges do we have? What kind of madmen are allowing this nonsense to proceed in courts which are already overwhelmed with serious cases? If ever there was a case more frivolous that the suit against Winfrey, this is it! Didn't our courts learn anything from that?

I believe that MasterCard's real goal is to cripple Nader so that he is unable to campaign successfully. They fear he will take votes away from their boy Bush. It's a classic big corporation thug move. That's all it is. A thinly disguised effort to disable Nader's campaign. Of course, the thug controlled courts will aid them in their effort, even though the case is ridiculously frivolous on the face of it. They have no case, but they can tie him up with the help of fascist judges, until the election is history.

I believe they are trying to preserve the thoughtful, political-center votes for Bush. They don't seem to understand that the thoughtful center is not Bush's to lose. He forfeited those votes when, like Dole before him, he embraced the fascist right. Nader will not take votes from their boy Bush, he will take them from their mortal enemy, Gore. If they had more sense than a typical corporate marble lobby, they would see that and secretly aid Nader.

Lest anyone misunderstand me, I think Nader is a silly jerk. He wrote one interesting book. That is the sum total of his career. Then he went to Washington and pretended that he represented me. He does not. That is a fabrication of his misguided egomaniacal mind. Even so, I believe in his right to run for office. I also believe he has the right to use as many silly cliches as he wishes, the thugs at MasterCard notwithstanding.

I have a MasterCard, but I have stopped using it, until I see how this plays out. I will use other cards instead. I do not recommend that others follow my example, but, I will not sue anyone who does. I make that as a solemn pledge.

Meanwhile, I envision a future where we will have to be silent or invent new phrases each day for fear of being sued by the power thugs of corporate America. With that in mind, I have begun a list of substitute phrases, to avoid using the cliches which MasterCard may claim to own. I expect others to add to and improve this list.

For, "That's the least you could say."
Substitute, "That's the littlest you could say."

For, You better believe it."
Substitute, "You ought to think so."

For, "Big Bully."
Substitute, "MasterCard."

For, "How would I know?"
Substitute, "By what means would I comprehend that?"

For, "How about that!"
Substitute, "How now about that!"

For, "MasterCard."
Substitute, "Discover."

For, "Blushing Bride."
Substitute, "Red faced new spouse."

For, "Piece of nonsense."
Substitute, "MasterCard."

For, "My better half."
Substitute, "My improved half."

For, "Two bricks short of a full load."
Substitute, "MasterCard PR man."

For, "A case of the blind leading the blind."
Substitute, "MasterCard Manager."

I think everyone gets the idea. This is just a partial list, of course. I'm sure that my readers are creative enough to expand this list to infinity. Let me hear from you. The email address is on the Wesoomi home page..
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