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Expensive Crime
You know how TV news shows give us what they call a tease for
the next segment to keep us watching through the advertisements?
I saw one the other day on channel 12 which really made me get
weird. Just before the ad, the reporter said, "It's going
to cost more to be a criminal in Bay County. Details when we come
back."
My mind went into orbit.
I visualized this seedy looking bunch of guys standing in line
at the Bay County Clerk's office looking at the sign on the wall.
The sign is kind of like the menu at a fast food place except
these guys are their to buy their license.
The sign looks something like this:
BREAKING AND ENTERING:
Single occurrence license $50.00
One week unlimited license $500.00
One year permit $8000.00
ARMED ROBBERY:
Etcetera.
Etcetera.
One guy says, "Boy, I'd sure like to have that one year
permit."
"Yeah, me too, but it's so expensive," says another.
"What line are you into?"
"Well, I been doing B and E's, but I'm thinking a going into
car-jackin'."
"Yeah, I hear that's been payin' off real good. I'm doin'
armed robbery myself, but it's getting real expensive."
"Boy, you know it. Damned politicians!"
Later, we see a well dressed gent coming out of an uptown bar.
Suddenly he is confronted by a rough looking guy with a gun.
"Gimmy your wallet and watch, or I'll blow you away,"
says the gunman.
The gent looks alarmed, then he thinks for a minute. "Hey,
wait a minute!" he says. "Let's see your license buddy?"
The gunman looking chagrin, shoves the gun in his pocked and stalks
away muttering, "Damn guy. I can't make a buck anymore. How'll
I ever buy a license."
"Hey! You're lucky I don't report you," shouts the gent.
"Who do you think you are, a politician or something?"
Now, I missed what the tease was really about. The news show was over before I got this bizarre vision out of my head. Of course, why not? When you think of it, licensing criminals would be nothing more than a natural extension of the lottery concept.
Latter, Mrs. Gaffer explained to me that the story was about
making prisoners pay some kind of rent for the facilities they
use when in prison. I thought about that and wondered how that
could work. I believe most of these people are in prison precisely
because they are dead beats with no means of support. Where would
they get the wherewithal to pay their keep. That got me off on
a whole new tangent. I'll write about it later, when I come back
to earth.
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