Back to Gaffer's Archives.
The Future of Medicine:
Thanks to television news programming, I have noticed some of
the remarkable advances being made in medical science recently.
The mapping of the human gene may be the most important scientific
development of all time. Now, the once science fictional, concept
of cloning a human is not only possible, it is likely. Many more
beneficial applications of the gene information are also being
developed. Major breakthroughs in the treatment of killer diseases
will occur. We can expect real cures in many areas.
Along with these real breakthroughs, we are witnessing a rather bizarre revolution in drug marketing. Think of this. We stopped Madison Avenue from advertising booze on TV. We also stopped them from advertising tobacco. We consider those products to be addictive and harmful. Now, they have found another client-industry with deep pockets. Dangerous, often deadly, drugs are being marketed directly to the people. The doctors have been bypassed. Madison Avenue will always find a way.
I think this may be just the beginning. I visualize a future where the medical industry will be completely cut out of the process. Medical drugs and tools will be marketed directly to the consumer. Doctors and hospitals will become superfluous. Advertisements on TV will change. Forget the heartbreak of psoriasis and the tragedies of baldness and dandruff. Even the ads for prescription drugs will be pushed aside.
Visualize, if you can, the future ads for in home, do-it-yourself
surgery kits. How about a heart bypass kit?
Are you experiencing shortness of breath?
Do you have inexplicable pains in your jaw?
Do you have sudden chest pains?
Do you wake up at night in a clammy sweat with pains in your arms?
You are probably suffering from blocked arteries to your heart.
Suffer no more.
Order our heart diagnostic and surgical bypass kit!
All instructions and tools are included.
Are you nervous about doing it yourself?
There is no need to worry.
Our 24/7 medical consultants are always only a phone call away.
Have your spouse perform your bypass in the comfort of your own
bedroom.
On sale now for only $759.95.
Order now and we will include free shipping plus a handy rectal
thermometer.
We could also have the Clone-a-Pal kit.
Are you an only child?
Are you lonely?
Have you lost a friend?
Are you one of the unfortunates who never had a friend?
Do you long for companionship?
Your loneliness is unnecessary.
Order our new, "Clone-a-Pal"® kit.
Never be shut out from the fun again.
Experience the joy of a real friend.
Talk and laugh with your very own living, breathing pal.
We offer a fantastic, never to be repeated, introductory price
of $474.95.
This is a limited time offer.
All parts and instructions are included.
Our patented Quick-Grow solution will bring your new pal up to
size in two weeks.
Order now and have a friend for life.
I think the possibilities are endless. I can visualize the
set-a-fracture kit.
What would happen if you fell and broke an arm?
How about if your spouse broke a leg?
Are you prepared?
There is no reason to be caught by surprise.
Order our handy Set-a-Fracture kit.
Don't be fooled by look alike products.
This is the original Set-a-Fracture kit.
At a price of $57.95, everyone can afford to have this kit on
hand.
The kit comes with enough material to set three fractures.
All instructions and tools are included.
Order now and have the kit on hand before tragedy strikes.
Remember, these kits make dandy gifts.
Order two and deduct $10.00 from the total price.
Do you think all of this is impossible? Do you remember when
you thought a man on the moon and home computers were impossible?
Back to Gaffer's Archives.
|
|
|
|