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About This Potter Thing:
I recently had the opportunity to have an interview with that
notorious religious celebrity and speaker, Mr. Perry Jowl. Here
is the transcript for your inspection.
Gaffer: Doctor Jowl, You are a recognized authority on fundamentalist
religious principles and doctrine in addition to being the leader
of your organization, "The Major Morality."
Jowl: Indeed I am, and proud of it.
Gaffer: I understand that you recently condemned the Potter
books by Rowling. Is that true?
Jowl: Of course we did. Those books are pure evil!
Gaffer: Pure evil, sir?"
Jowl: I said pure evil. I am not accustomed to saying things I
do not mean. I am a Christian man.
Gaffer: I beg your pardon sir. I was simply expressing surprise.
I understand that many people approve the books.
Jowl: Sure, they do. I regret that our country is in moral decline
and filled with infidels. My goal is to turn that around. To be
sure, it's an uphill struggle, but God is on my side.
Gaffer: I see. Now about the Potter books, when you read them,
what did you find that convinced you they were evil?
Jowl with temple throbbing: When I read them? My God man, are
you mad? I would never expose my sensitive soul to evil like that.
Gaffer: You didn't read any of the Potter books?
Jowl: Do you have a hearing impediment? I didn't read that trash.
I would not go near it!
Gaffer: I see, then how did you determine that they were evil?
Jowl: They are about magic, sir! Everyone says they are about
magic. That is an evil concept. It is anti God, anti Christ, anti
everything good and true. It is the stuff of the dark realm, not
of Gods domain.
Gaffer: Did you understand anything about the theme of the
books, sir?
Jowl: The theme is magic for God's sake! The books are about magic.
Gaffer: Yes sir. Magic is integrated into the plot of the books.
I was speaking of the theme, the underlying message.
Jowl: The underlying message and the overlying message is anti
God. Magic!
Gaffer: Many writers and critics see the theme of the books
as illustrating the classic struggle between good and evil. I
noticed that myself.
Jowl: Of course! Magic is evil. There can be no good in a book
which features it. Good would be in burning the books.
Gaffer: That would make a huge fire. There are millions of
them in print.
Jowl: I would like to see that fire. That would be the end of
a struggle against evil, with good winning.
Gaffer: I noticed that Rowling makes the point that the struggle
of good against evil is ongoing and that any victory will be necessarily
temporary.
Jowl: There will be a final triumph, when the Lord of Hosts descends
and the evil ones, like this woman, are condemned to eternal damnation.
Gaffer: Don't you see anything positive coming out of the fact
that the Potter books have got many young people reading for the
first time?
Jowl: I don't see how having children read evil writings can have
any good effect. Reading the bible would be good, the true King
James version that is. Reading my books would be good.
Gaffer: Are there any other books that you would recommend?
Jowl: The just aren't that many good wholesome books available,
I'm sorry to say.
Gaffer: What about Mark Twain?
Jowl, red faced: Don't get me started on that monster. I am not
ignorant. I have heard of his anti God tirades. Nothing by him
could be good.
Gaffer: He also wrote about Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.
Jowl: Exactly! Sawyer was a runaway and truant. Finn was a ne'er-do-well
vagrant. Not at all the Christian types we want our children to
emulate.
Gaffer: It seems the only reading you can recommend for sure
is the King James Bible and your tomes.
Jowl: That's right. In real Christian homes, youngsters would
be required to read the bible. It would not be an option.
Gaffer: I see. Well, thank you Doctor Jowl. I appreciate the
interview.
Jowl. Just make sure you tell it the way I said it.
Gaffer: Indeed I will sir. Indeed I will!
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