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Another Sprint at the Whitehouse:
Once again, I have looked at the political situation and started to wonder if
it were not to late for me to reenter my bid. I believe I have all of the
qualifications. I'm for a great number of wonderful things.
For example, I would go a step beyond that fella from
I say, heck, that's not far enough. What we should do is go right into hospitals and blood test new born babies. We can't be to careful with this drug thing. Who knows what they might have got into after they came out of the womb. We may even have to execute a few of them. I'm big on execution.
I'm really a Christian values person. I believe anyone who sells or uses
drugs should be in prison. I know what we would do with them in
As far as my position on American industry. I fully support the cattlemen. I
believe that everyone should be required to eat a Big Mac every day. Not just
Winfrey, but everyone. For the good of
As to prayer in public schools, I was just as disappointed as George about
that stupid court decision. I think it's about time we had a federal law
requiring every citizen of the good old
I'm also very strong on law and order. I don't think it's wrong at all to execute people. After all, if a person is convicted, he must be guilty. Right? Of course, we would never executed an innocent man on my watch, except perhaps, for an alien or two. Heck, if they don't look like Americans, they probably aren't.
I'm not to strong on lethal injection. I don't see any reason for pandering to these people. If we just get a couple of good old pickup trucks and stout ropes, I'm sure we could find a couple of good-old-boys to do the rest.
I'm actually kind of soft on gay rights. I think it's probably all right for people to be weird, so long as they do it in a closet. I'd just kind of draw the line at letting them vote or participate with the real people. After all, we don't want them teaching our kids how to do those things. We should let the good folks, like Pat Robertson and Jim Baker, teach our kids how to do things right.
On woman's lib, I would try to open more cabinet posts and government jobs to women. Of course, I'm talking about good, right-thinking, God-fearing women. I won't have any jack booted rabble rousers around me. Just good Christian women.
Of course, I have a position on abortion. I think it's wrong. If a woman makes a mistake, she ought to be made to suffer the consequences of it. As far as the people who do abortions, I think they should have a fair trial before we execute them. I'm definitely not in support of this random shooting of abortion doctors. I think we should be more systematic about it.
As to foreign policy, I say
I'm also looking forward to implementing campaign financed reform, right after this next election. The first thing I would do is appoint a study group to look into it.
As to having laws about hate crimes, I say, the more the better. I think we should have a law which forbids people to hate politicians.
Another issue is gasoline prices. When I am elected, I will finance research to turn beans into gas. If people can do it naturally, why not develop the process and do it systematically. I think this is a good thing for all politicians to get behind. I visualize a bipartisan gas effort.
Now, I think that about covers the main issues. As other things come up,
I'll keep everyone informed of my position.
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