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About Taxes and Fools:
The simple minded, State of Michigan politicians are considering
implementing an odometer tax. They contend that the people who
drive more should pay more highway taxes. Never mind that they
already pay more tax when they buy more gas. We could wonder how
they will implement such a tax. They seem to think that a device
could be installed in our vehicles to upload odometer data to
the GPS system.
Would that be an invasion of privacy? Could the state actually forcibly enter my vehicle and place such a device in it? The device would use my vehicles battery and power to operate while it reported on me. Shades of Adolph and Hermann Goering. Is Orwell's 1984 finally upon us, just a few years late?
The ever vigilant thieves of Lansing strike again. Let us picture Fat John at the Michigan, Ohio border with an armed force of Michigan Troopers. He is stopping tourists at the border and installing mileage monitoring devices in their vehicles. His motto, "In Michigan, if you drive, we thrive." What will the great robber barons think of next?
Perhaps these political hacks are being way to conservative. If they can get away with this, why not a whole horde of these kind of taxes. There are many others which could be implemented. It's a whole new category. We could call them the privacy invasion taxes.
For example, how about a flush tax. They could come into your home and put a sealed counter on your toilet. It could upload its information to the GPS system. Remember the old song? Every time you crap it rains, pennies on Lansing. Of course it would not be pennies. It should be at least a buck a bucket.
With the proper monitor, we could even implement a flatulence tax. The bureaucrats in Lansing must be very good at detecting flatulence. Most of them have their noses in the proper position, most of the time. Think of it. A small, simulated bureaucrats nose attached to each of our belts.
If we are going to have an odometer tax, we must also have a bicycle and walking tax, just to be fair. Once the odometer tax is implemented, the bicycle tax would not be a problem to implement. The walking tax could b a bit tricky. Perhaps it could simply be an addition to the bureaucrats nose attachment.
A cookout or barbecue tax would be duck soup. No devices would be necessary. The GPS system could detect a backyard fire with no problem. This is one which could be taxed by the occurrence or by the hour; whichever makes more money for the thieves of Lansing.
How about a prayer tax? I'm not sure how this one could be implemented. At first I thought a knee contact counter would work. Then I realized that some Easterners pray, or meditate in a sitting position. Other folks don't even bother to kneel when they pray. I tried to think of something about prayer which was universal, but there is nothing. We may have to forgo this one. I don't think it would be wise of the thieves to ask God to keep the count for them. Even a politician must have some sense of fearfulness, if not decency.
A visitor tax would be simpler to set up. A monitoring device could be attached to our abodes doors. If we have company, we pay a tax. Who cares if it's a peddler or a friend. If we open the door and something passes through, we pay.
I don't want to think about how they could implement an intimacy
tax. The folks in Lansing are clever, however. My guess is, they
will think of a way. When it comes to greed, they are prima donnas
of creativity.
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