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On Teaching Our Children:
I have noticed a strange trend in our big city public school systems
recently. That is to write off our system of public education
and partially replace it with things called charter schools. Now,
on top of that, we have a Michigan governor who wants to give
the public school tax monies to private schools in the form of
vouchers.
I decided to try to understand this, so I called an acquaintance who claims to be an expert on child education; Mr. Ed U. Katum. Mr. Katum runs a private consulting service for parents and for people who operate schools. He agreed to fill me in so I went to his office. We had a long chat, which I remember as follows.
Gaffer: Thanks for seeing me Ed. I appreciate it.
Katum: Not at all. I'm always ready to explain these matters.
Much of my time goes into clarifying these simple concepts for
dullards. Ask me anything you like.
Gaffer: Okay. What's happening to our big city public schools?
Why are they failing?
Katum: The schools aren't failing, Willie.
Gaffer: But I read it in all the papers. I hear it on the news
shows.
Katum: Sure.
Gaffer: But you say they aren't failing. Do you mean they're
the same as they were when I went to school?
Katum: Pretty much. Most systems are about the same.
Gaffer: The same kind of teachers? The same administrators?
Katum: Sure. You have a few excellent teachers, a few awful teachers,
and a lot of okay teachers. Same with the bureaucrats who run
the schools.
Gaffer: Okay. If the schools are the same, what's wrong? What's
failed?
Katum: The kids have failed, Gaffer.
Gaffer: The kids?
Katum: Tention was right. You just don't listen good. I said the
kids failed.
Gaffer: How can the kids fail?
Katum: Face it, Willie. Some kids are just to dumb to be in school.
Some of the little buggers should be in reform school.
Gaffer: Sure, even when I went to school. In fact, they said
that about me. They sent me home with a note. What's different
now?
Katum: You tell me, Willie. What did your mama do when she read
the note?
Gaffer: I don't want to talk about that. What's different now?
Katum: Hee, hee, hee! What's different, Gaffer, is the parents.
Gaffer: What do you mean?
Katum: Some parents are to dumb to have kids. Some parents should
be in reform school.
Gaffer: That's always been true. What makes it an issue?
Katum: There's more of them and these boneheads don't do what
your mama did. Instead of supporting the teachers, they support
the kids bad behavior.
Gaffer: Oh! So the kids just run amuck.
Katum: Sure. In some places, the kids run the schools and the
muck.
Gaffer: You say there's more of them, now?
Katum: In some systems, they are the majority.
Gaffer: That makes it tough on the teachers.
Katum: for sure.
Gaffer: It also makes it tough for the smart kids who want
to learn.
Katum: Right again, Gaffer. Some kids are just too smart to be
in school.
Gaffer: Clever, Ed. Is that the idea behind these new charter
schools?
Katum: First point, Gaffer, they aren't new.
Gaffer: I don't think I ever heard of a charter school five
years ago.
Katum: That's true, you didn't. Back then, they were called academies.
They were for rich kids.
Gaffer: Oh! Now we have academies for all kids, but we call
them charter schools.
Katum: Not for all kids, Willie.
Gaffer: What kids are excluded?
Katum: As I understand it, any kid that the charter school wants
to exclude.
Gaffer: What happens to them.
Katum: They have to go back to the public system which can't refuse
them.
Gaffer: That sounds unfair. Don't these charter schools get
public funds?
Katum: For sure, and lots of it.
Gaffer: But they don't have to take the problem kids. How will
that solve the public education system's problems?
Katum: It won't, Willie. It will aggravate it.
Gaffer: The winner kids from good homes will be in charter
schools, and the others will be in disintegrating public schools
with reduced public income.
Katum: That's the way they set it up. You should talk to the administrator
of one of these places, Willie. You'd get a new outlook. It's
a con that would make your friend Sault proud.
Gaffer: No, sir! Sault has ethics. He wouldn't be proud of
cheating kids.
Katum: I apologize to Sault. You're right, of course. That kind
of cheating requires a politician.
Gaffer: Bummer! And the cycle repeats.
Katum: Again and again.
Gaffer: Now, how will vouchers help? Why do we need them?
Katum: We don't.
Gaffer: Then, why are they being touted by so many obese politicians.
Katum: I believe it's a cover, just another con.
Gaffer: A cover for what?
Katum: They think they have to solve the public education problem.
They don't know how, so they shift the focus. They take money
from the public system and make the parents and the private schools
responsible for education.
Gaffer: Sounds like it's all going to destroy the public system,
rather than help it.
Katum: It sure won't help.
Gaffer: Will our entire public education system collapse?
Katum: The systems in the big cities could collapse for sure.
Gaffer: What can the people do?
Katum: They are already doing it. They are migrating to the suburbs.
Gaffer: The suburban systems are better off?
Katum: They are smaller and thus more cohesive.
Gaffer: What about the ones who can't migrate?
Katum: We can hope! If the fat politicians stay out, perhaps the
systems will get small enough to become manageable. It's really
up to the people involved.
Gaffer: Public education will only work when the people make
it work.
Katum: That's the reality, Willie. The schools cannot control
the little brats without the support of their parents.
Gaffer: Then all this charter school and voucher stuff is off
the mark?
Katum: For sure, Gaffer. It's just political smoke. Like always,
politics can't fix anything.
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