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The List:
A few days ago, ABC news did a evening news article about the
FBI's 10 most wanted list. The fiftieth anniversary of the official
list was on March 14, 2000. When it began, it was a list of the
people the FBI actually intended to arrest and bring to trial.
It has been very effective. According to the FBI's records, there
are only 29 people out of 458 who were not apprehended. I assume
10 are still on the list. That leaves 19 unaccounted for. We don't
know what happened to those 19 fugitives. Perhaps the mob took
them out for a country ride.
I went to the FBI website to check out the current crop of villains. It's not hard to find. In fact, it's just where you would expect to look. http://www.fbi.gov/ If you go there, you can see the photos and get all the facts. Here's the list. Most of these motleys have not come to trial so we must, by law, presume most of them innocent.
Ramon Eduardo Arellano-Felix, — importing controlled substances.
James J. Bulger, — extortion and Rico charges.
Glen Stewart Godwin, --- a prison escapee, murderer.
Eric Robert Rudolph, --- bombing of a health clinic in Birmingham,
Alabama.
Arthur Lee Washington, Jr. — attempted murder of a New Jersey
State Trooper.
Donald Eugene Webb, — murder of a Police Chief in Pennsylvania.
Agustin Vasquez-Mendoza, — drug conspiracy.
James Charles Kopp, — shooting a Doctor who provided legal
abortions.
Victor Manuel Gerena, — armed robbery.
Usama Bin Laden, --- bombings of the united states embassies in
Dar es Salaam, Tanzania and Nairobi, Kenya.
I don't think I would like any of these guys. Still, I object to Bin Laden being on this list. I just don't think J. Edgar would have put someone on the list that he had no intention of arresting. Bin Laden would never have got there. That's just political bull. If they really wanted to arrest him, they know where he is. ABC news is able to find him whenever they want to.
I'm not sure I would have liked J. Edgar either, but, in retrospect, he got the job done. I did notice that as each new president took office the first thing he did was to make sure of J. Edgar. I think that was very prudent. I would not make sense to alienate a person who has a dossier on you that weighs more than your wife.
As to the list, so long as we don't necessarily intend to do anything to the victims, I decided to have my own group of 10 motleys. Here they are:
Lazaro Gonzalez, — The kidnaping of Elian Gonzalez for use as a political pawn.
Caution:
This man is a political activist who preys on children and uses
the American people. He operates from US soil with the goal fomenting
a conflict between the US and a foreign government. Last seen
disguised as a loving uncle.
The United States Government, — Accessory to the fact of Kidnaping, Conspiracy to commit the kidnaping of Elian Gonzalez.
Caution:
This government has a gang of dedicated agents who are known to
use summary deadly force against perceived enemies of the state.
The agents are usually disguised as officers of the law.
Jesse Helms, — Threatening the President of The United States of America with physical violence.
Caution:
This man has abnormal political power and is know to retaliate
viciously against his perceived enemies. Last seen disguised as
a gentleman.
Hillary Clinton, — Carpetbagger. Chameleon.
Caution;
This woman is an ambitious political adept. She will assume whatever
role is necessary to achieve political power. Last seen disguised
as a citizen of New York State.
Kenneth Starr, — Enforcer.
Caution:
This man is a relentless instrument of the fascist political right.
Know to employ whatever means are necessary to implement his master's
vendettas. Last seen disguised as an officer of the court.
Jesse Jackson, — Interfering in the legitimate operation of a public educational institution for political gain.
Caution:
This man is armed with a hair trigger mouth and is considered
politically dangerous. His weapon of choice is the race card,
which he will fire off at the slightest pretext. Last seen disguised
as a minster of the faith.
Jesse Ventura, — Really, really bad acting.
Caution:
This man is suspected of causing a number of people to die laughing.
Last seen disguised as a governor.
Charlton Heston, — Rhetoric and misrepresentation.
Caution:
This man is a desperate, out of work actor who will uses any means
available to maintain his public image as a great man. Last seen
disguised as a thoughtful intellect.
Sam Donaldson, — Wearing a really bad wig.
Caution:
Not particularly dangerous, just embarrassing to watch and to
hear. Last seen disguised as a journalist.
John Engler, — Overeating to the point of obscenity and babbling.
Caution:
This man is given to fits of verbosalitis. This is a disease of
the mouth and mind characterized by swollen sentences with bizarre
growths of extraneous multi-syllable modifiers. He is suspected
of boring several people to death. Last seen disguised as a giant
beach ball.
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