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An Opportunity:
I am not normally excitable, but I have just encountered what
I believe to be a rare opportunity. This one came from a friend
of my friend, Felonious A. Sault. The friends name is Whylee Ferrit.
We believe this is really an investment opportunity. It may be
that very rare bird, the chance of a life time.
It seems Ferrit has an unusual invention which he intends to market throughout the world. I, along with Sault, will be in on the ground floor. We have been offered a territorial marketing franchise for the entire state of Michigan. The up front commitment, $10,000 each, seems very reasonable for what promises to be a very lucrative, long term business. Sault's friend has to be reasonable because he needs quick cash for patents and manufacturing setup. That's why we are in on the gold rush.
What he has developed is something as simple, common, and useful as our hygiene essential, the toothbrush. This one is very similar. He calls it Ferrit's Patented Proboscis Probe. Of course, that's just a fancy name for a booger hook, but the potential is the stuff of dreams. This is an idea whose time has come.
Think of this! That dry hard one, way in the back, is still there. For sure, it's beyond the reach of your thumb. Even your index finger won't get it. Even you little pinky with a long sharp fingernail does not have a chance. How many times have you caused a nose bleed trying for that bugger of a booger? Yet, it sits there safely ignoring you and annoying you.
No more! That nasty booger will meet its match. It is no longer safe. Enter the solution. We offer you, Ferrit's final ferret, the patented Proboscis Probe. It's a dandy little tool for reaching the deepest recesses of your snot locker and ferreting out the frightful booger.
Ferrit intends to manufacture these things in a variety of models. To be sure, there will be the disposables, sold from vending machines, right next to those other little machines, in restrooms across the country. These can also be offered to hotels and motels, where they would take their place on the vanity along with the tiny bar of soap, and the little vial of shampoo.
To be sure we will offer the tool in plain carved ivory for that touch of simple elegance. Of course, it will come in a crystal case. Also available will be a line of precious metal Probes for the afficionados. Married folks will want to consider the balance, matched, Mom and Pop set. An artful addition to any bathroom.
At the time, we see no reason for not offering special edition models. Perhaps a diamond studded, silver model, called the Trump Probe. I also visualize a particularly long one called the French Probe. I can believe a good seller would be a Hillary and Bill, unmatched set. Perhaps later we could even offer a presidential Probe.
I'm sure we could easily sell a graduation Probe and a first bar mitzvah Probe. How about a first Jewish VP Keepsake Probe. We could probably make one with a handle in the shape of a hog and call it the North Carolina Probe. I think the potential is endless, limited only by our own imagination.
Happy days are here again.
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