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Writing and Publishing, Part 48:
Becoming your own publisher:
Marketing:
Agents, Publicity and Otherwise.
So far as I can tell, there are two types of agents. First are
the ones that you cannot get to. These are the people who manage
to put themselves between the public and the talented people.
In theory, their job is to filter out fools and imposters of one
form or another. The idea is that these talented people just don't
have time to deal with everyone who wants their attention. They
should only get to see the people who have something to offer.
In practice, I believe these agents end up isolating the artists from the public to an unintended degree. I suspect the talented people who employ them are not aware of this effect. It becomes impossible for an unknown person to get through the wall regardless of what they have to offer. Believe me, I have tried. I have two books which I know would make great movies, but I cannot get anyone to even look at them.
Here is one letter I sent out to several agencies which received
no response whatsoever.
Proposal Appraiser
Writers & Artists Agency
924 Westwood Blvd., #900
Los Angeles, CA 90024
Dear Person:
I am currently seeking someone to represent or package two excellent fiction novels for the film and TV industries. I currently hold all rights to both works. The works are respectively, The Siege of Acheron by Willie Gaffer and Supreme Commander George by Markus thyme. I have enclosed a brief synopsis of each book for your appraisal. I can send copies of both books upon your request.
One strength of both of these works is that they have well developed characters which demand acting talent rather than special effects. In fact, neither book requires any extraordinary effort in special effects. They depend, rather, on a good writing with strong plotting and solid themes to carry the story. In addition, both have well written dialogues which should convert nicely to scripts for talented actors.
Should you wish to evaluate either or both of these works, please correspond with me by mail, phone, or E-mail and request copies. All addresses are below.
Thank you:
I would think that an agency which depends on new material for its income would at least want to look at these books. Wouldn't you? I have sent letters and books to agencies in Hollywood and New York. I have sent hundreds of letters. I have offered books for examination and evaluation. I have yet to receive any response from any of the agents. I wish it were not so. I wish there was a way to get through, for here is a truth; a successful movie made from a book will earn more that the book ever could; even as a best seller.
If you want to be a successful writer, figure out how to get someone in Hollywood to look at your work. Tinsel Town has a surfeit of hack writers turning out twaddle by the ton. What they don't have, because the won't look, is good stories with good plots and themes. The good stories are out there. The problem is, there is a wall of silence which surrounds the talented people. So far as I can tell, that wall is manned by brain dead agents and agencies.
If I ever figure out how to get through these people, I will tell you about it. I am left with the suspicion that it's kind of a favors game. The people who get through are good schmoozers or hucksters of one form or another. They do what the have to do to get on the good side of the agents. I don't know this, but I suspect it. If it's completely true, I'll never get through.
The other kind of agent are those people who solicit you. They usually call themselves publicists. They will promise you all kinds of salutary results from their efforts. All you have to do is give them money up front or sign a contract to pay them. I regularly get solicitations from these people. A very persistent one is Jenkins and his associates. This is the Independent Publisher guy who claims to be my ally. I simply don't respond to him. I just delete his e-mails along with the other spam.
Another one is Milton Kahn Associates, Inc. He calls what he does public relations. He sends out an 8&1/2 X 11 tri-fold brochure with a full color photo of himself and lists of his credits. Someone named him publicist of the year. Most of his hype is a list of things he has done for other clients, all of whom are already big names. Maybe he did. So what?
One time I replied to Kahn with a letter offering to let him represent two of my books to Hollywood on a commission basis. He never responded to my offer. Not one word, but he continues to send me his brochure. This is one thing I have noticed about all of these people. They will make you all kinds of wild exotic promises. They want you to give them money for promised publicity, whatever that is. They want the money up front. When I tell people that I pay for results, but not promises, they quickly disappear. They crawl back into the woodwork.
Here is a copy of the letter which Kahn ignored.
Milton Kahn
P. O. Box 50352
Santa Barbara. CA 93150
Dear Milton Kahn or Associate:
I received your brochure a few days ago while I was busy getting my next book ready for the manufacturing process. That is done and I now have time for a thoughtful response. From your brochure, it is difficult for me to determine exactly what kind of service you are offering. If you are offering a fee based service, do not bother to respond to this letter. If you are a commission type promotional or marketing firm, it's possible we could have a mutually beneficial relationship.
I am a writer/publisher with four books in print and another
to be published in November of 1999. I have no need to mislead
you. The books were all written by me under different pseudonyms.
The pseudonyms are simply a marketing ploy. The books are:
The Wesoomi Gardening Journal by William E. Steinman.
The Gaffer's Shorts by Willie Gaffer.
The Siege of Acheron by Willie Gaffer.
Supreme Commander George by Markus Thyme.
The coming November publication is The Anatomy of a PC by William
E. Steinman.
What would particularly interest me would be to have one of these books presented to companies in the movie and/or television industries. The purpose, of course, would be to have the book made into a movie. The two books which I think are appropriate are The Siege of Acheron and Supreme Commander George. I have enclosed a brief synopsis of each book for your appraisal. I can also send copies of both books upon your request.
One strength of both of these works is that they have well developed characters which demand acting talent rather than special effects. In fact, neither story requires any extraordinary effort in special effects. They depend, rather, on good writing with strong plotting and solid themes to carry the story. In addition, both have well written dialogues which should convert nicely to scripts for talented performers.
Excluding the Trekies and their ilk, I believe the larger viewing community is sick to death of bad plots, dialogue, and acting which depends of special effects to carry the burden. I believe that I am not the only person in the world who would like to see some good stories with talented actors. Good stories are what my books offer. What they demand is real acting talent.
What I would like is for you to evaluate these books and, if you find one of them appropriate, represent it to those folks who can package it and make it into a movie for screen or TV. At this time, I would be willing to let you take just one of the books. That would allow us to see if we can work well together. As I indicated above, I am only interested in a commission based relationship. I feel that people who require a front fee are either incompetent or they do not really believe in my work. In a phase, they think I am incompetent and easy.
Should you wish to evaluate either or both of these works, please correspond with me by mail, phone, or E-mail and request copies. All addresses are in the page one footnote.
Thank you:
Thats enough about agents. In my next essay, I will get into
a discussion of E-Books.
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