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2006 Archives
May 15, 2006:
A New Plan:
I heard a rumor that our President has a new plan for dealing
with bird flu. It's called the shotgun brigade. We will have
millions of volunteers standing shoulder to shoulder along our
coastlines with shotguns. They will shoot down any birds they
see. No illegal floozy birds will get into the US because Cheney
will teach these people how to aim and shoot. Kaboom, kaboom,
kaboom!
My Plan:
My plan is a bit simpler. First we must admit we cannot quarantine
this bird flu stuff. That was tried with the Black Plague and
it did not work way back then. We used to do it with measles
and it did not work. Michigan is trying it with the Emerald Ash
Borer. That's not working either. The fact is, we cannot build
an impenetrable barrier against bugs of any kind, visible or
invisible. We can and should try to create a vaccinee. That will
either work or not and either way the bird flu will eventually
run it's course, just as did all other plagues. Tough, but true!
Room For Con Games:
When King George and his henchmen created the senior drug plan,
they made it very complicated, on purpose! The purpose was to
cover the fact that it was nothing more than a political payoff
for the big time contributors. No that complication has opened
the door for con men. They are calling seniors and offering to
help them get in the plan for a fee. Any senior who pays that
fee has simply given money away. The con man takes it and moves
on. Thanks for the vaseline George.
The Big Phone Companies:
AT&T, Verizon, and Bell south have sold out to the federal
thugs. They are turning over our phone records to Big Brother.
This is all apart of Hayden's master plan to spy on us. Orwell's
1984 has arrived. George says that's alright. We can trust the
government to only use that information for noble purposes. It's
only to catch the bad guys. If you believe that, I have a bridge
I would like to sell you.
Phone companies have always had our phone records. They keep
track of our calls. Think about it. How else could they bill
us. The sinister thing now is all of this information is being
compiled by a single government agency for the expressed purpose
of spying on Americans.
Fruitology:
One of the fruit legislators in that great state of confusion
called California is advocating a law to teach fruitology to
our school kids. It's fairly certain she won't get away with
it, but it's frightening all the same. People like her are like
Christian fundamentalists. They never give up.
Stephanopolous:
He had Feinstein and Chandliss of the intelligence committee
on his show. I was surprised by their good behavior. Though they
were of opposite parties, they were civil and they actually agreed
on a couple of points. They agreed, for example, that Porter
Goss got fired because he was shaking up the agency. The disagreed
as to whether that was the right thing or the wrong thing to
do. That is a curious point because when he was put in as head
of the CIA, it was clear to me that he was put there to do just
what he was doing. Now, for some reason, it's wrong? Give me
a break! The truth probably is, King George was afraid someone
would get fired, get mad, write a book, and implicate him. Better
to leave sleeping dogs lie.
Worst, Worster, Worstest:
My nominations are, Ulysses S, Grant, Lyndon Baines Johnson,
and George W. Bush!
Grown Men:
Grown-men is the classic contradiction in terms. Men never really
grow up. Regardless of age, most men are adolescence in their
behavior. Sometimes that behavior gets out of control. There
is nothing more pitiful than a 50 year old, out of control, adolescent
male.
Get it right now:
It does not matter if we are immortal. It does not matter if
we lived before or will reincarnate. The only important thing
is to get it right now, to do the task before us as impeccably
as possible. Everything else will fall out if we do that. Immortality
will become irrelevant. If we live, we live and if we die we
die, but if we don't get it right, we might as well be dead now.
Tuesdays:
I was tired out and confused so I got on my knees and asked God
to forgive me.
God replied, "Come on Willie, I only do miracles on Tuesdays.
Come back on Tuesday."
So on Tuesday, I got on my knees and asked again.
God's secretary said, "Sorry Willie, God ain't here, he's
on the links. He always plays golf on Tuesday. Come back tomorrow."
Oh well, I guess I'll have to figure it out by myself.
Michigan is Down:
My wife went into Marshal Fields in Flint. This was a huge store
that had just been remodeled as though it were new. Everything
was first rate including the merchandise. There was only one
thing missing — customers. Besides herself, my wife saw
only about 12 customers in the store. The clerks outnumbered
them by two to one. Retail businesses are getting desperate.
Everything is discounted, but it does not matter. Sad! Very sad.
Insanity:
A college in this area had to be closed for a day. Someone had
discovered a drop, just a drop, of mercury on the floor of a
lab. It was public panic time. They had these bozos in those
contamination suits running into each other, there were so many
of them, They had officials babbling and the media was in a feeding
frenzy. This kind of thing has gotten completely out of hand.
Panic and bizarre reaction are the norm for anything unusual
now. I'm 75 years old. I would like to explain, if mercury were
one tenth as dangerous as the buffoons make it out to be, I and
most of the people I grew up with would have died in our infancy.
We found it and played with it when I was a kid. It was in every
thermometer around and they were made of glass. They broke often
and the mercury got our and the kids played with it. That's the
truth!
Bush:
He recently offered some kind of thing to create a federal task
force about identity theft. What bull! He has, under his control,
the biggest and most dangerous accessory before and after the
fact of identity theft. I speak of the United States Postoffice.
Unless he can get them to care about protecting the mail, most
other things won't matter. Sending personal information through
the mail is a dangerous as putting it in blog.
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