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April 5, 2004:

The Fiction of Modern Man:
Everything on this page is made up and may not be true. It is an American cultural fiction.

Hubble:
The administration has decided to abandon Hubble and let it rot in space. Well crap, why not? We can't keep dumping money into pure research when it's not likely to bring glory to the King. A tax break is better for everyone. Sure, the money will disappear with no real benefit, short or long term, but it makes us look good in Washington.

Cost of Government:
There is an easy way to pay the high cost of intrusive government programs. It's called a sin tax. We can tax smokers for sure. How could those sinners dare to complain? We can have Ponzi scheme lottos and we can license and tax casinos for sure. Hey, it's the easy way out. Just ask Michigan's Granholm. It's taking the pressure off of her. Heck, why have responsible government when kicking the losers is so easy?

A Revenge Frenzy:
I don't understand why they want to kill Nichols. How will that help anyone? Maybe we can be like the French Enlightenment and just off everyone. Then we will all feel real good, right?

Bullying:
It's in the news again. Kids bringing guns to school in Flint are blaming bullying for their behavior. They claim self defense. The authorities are looking into it. It's great we have TV to put these latest cons into the heads of our kids. Bullying is nothing new. It went on 65 years ago when I went to school. Perhaps the kids handled it differently because they were raised differently. However, the real difference now is the guns. So let's look into how we can control that. I think anyone who lets a child get possession of a weapon should be charged as an accessory before the fact to any crime the child commits with that weapon. That is just common sense for God's sake! Of course, the easy alternative is to punish the kids. Hey, why not? How they gonna fight the giants?

Child Porn:
What's new? The internet is what's new. It's easier to disseminate the stuff now. No more standing around the corner in alleys. No more skulking. Just put it out there for everyone to see and buy. It's just good business as long as the authorities are pretending they can't do anything about it.

Soccer Sanity:
In Podunk, Ohio a six year old kid fell down and his foot accidentally kicked a soccer ball. It happened to go between two lampposts. This was seen by an American Soccer League agent who immediately signed the kid to a 5 million dollar a year lifetime contract to play for an undisclosed American league team. His parents quickly bought a new home and 7 new Cadillacs, one for each day of the week. They did not forget the kid. He got his very own McDonald's Restaurant right next door. The sugar peddlers and the shoe hucksters are expected to get on the bandwagon with lucrative contracts soon.

A New Kind of Voyeurism:
Peeking into other people's cars may become fashionable in Flint. A council woman in Flint who likes to peek in other peoples cars as she drives is advocating a fine for people who are playing what she calls x-rated videos in their cars. I wonder how long she had to watch the video to tell it was x-rated. Who do you suppose was driving her car while she was peeking into someone else's car? Government fools don't change much from year to year.

Drugs and Depression:
They are drugging little kids because they are suffering from depression. It's easier than trying to figure out why they are depressed. There is a little problem though. Just like with adults, the drugs sometimes backfire and cause the very thing they are supposes to cure. The kids commit suicide. Oh well, it's only a few little kids. The parents can always make more kids. It's as easy as popping a Viagra.

How to Cause a Mistrial:
It's easy if you are the Judge hearing the case. Just give jury memos to the media while the trial is in progress and allow the jurors to speak to the media while the trial is in progress. Why be a judge if you can't help out your powerful friends?

A Celebration:
Some local basketball team won a state championship and Channel 12 TV news was covering the celebration. They interviewed some of the kids. These were highschool kids that, to a man, could not talk clearly. I am thinking, instead of teaching the kids to play basketball they should have taught them how to talk. They should have had classes in elocution. Of course, we gotta admit articulate graduates would not bring as much glory to the school as a basketball championship.

Did Bush Cave In On Rice?
Let's see. They will interview her in private before her public testimony. That's a good idea. They should agree on the questions and answers in advance. That way, no one will be embarrassed.

Scotland Yard:
They caught a bunch of terrorist and found a big cache of explosives. Maybe we should send our FBI keystone cops to Scotland Yard for lessons.

Thank God I was Left Behind.
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