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September 20, 2004:
Discrimination:
A little know fact is that our great scientists are working behind
the scenes to end racial discrimination. Recently they has a
serious breakthrough on the chemical front. They have developed
a new product for sunbathers. I think it's called moronatan or
some such name. The channel 12 media folks pronounced the name,
but they did not spell it out. No matter, moron-a-tan is good
enough for me. Sunbathing is no longer required to get that sought
after tan. There is a chemical that will do it for us. Few people
know that the goal is to con Caucasians into making themselves
look like Negroes. What a concept. How can we discriminate if
we all look the same?
Florida:
They are taking a beating. First Charlie then Francis followed
by Ivan and who kows what else? This is a perfect situation for
the United States Emergency Response Service (USERS) that I defined
in the Gaffers Philosophy, Universal Draft essays. They could
move in and provide whatever help is needed immediately. Instead
of having people wondering where to get help and having to stand
in queues to get it, these kids could bring the help right to
them.
Science:
With all the super colliders and particle identification with
more and more little bits and pieces of whatever, we are almost
back to the dilemma we had before Einstein when we used the all
pervading ether to explain all things. "Ether: an all-pervading,
infinitely elastic, massless medium once postulated by science
as the medium of propagation of electromagnetic waves."
Does anyone remember that? It seems we are back in that same
bag. Our model has become way too complex and hokey. The more
we learn the less we know. Something is missing. As in most cases,
the solution has become the problem. When we thought we knew,
we were wrong. My guess is, we are still wrong in thinking we
know.
Madison Avenue:
Those swine trash everything that's good about being human. Now
the slimy drug companies are paying them to trivialize the most
sacred intimate human experience. They have turned the most beautiful
human experience into filth. How evil can these crawling scum
bags get? Is nothing beyond their filthy reach? What's next on
their list, childbirth? They are beyond contempt, beyond evil.
They are monsters.
The Latest SAT:
Now they have a new one. The kids will have to write an essay.
Wouldn't it be swell if the schools would teach the kids how
to communicate before they test them for that skill? Learning
English by rote is not the same as learning to communicate.
Rumsfeld:
I'd like to give him a private's uniform and a rifle and send
him over there under the command of an experienced buck sergeant.
Reasons to be Happy You're Alive:
A smile from your grandchild.
Fresh raspberries and ice cream.
A spouse who really cares about you.
A Friend who really listens to you.
The ability to reenforce a child.
A hug from someone just because they like you.
A loyal dog.
Fresh produce from the garden.
Did You Know?
Alan Mathison Turing (1912 - 1954) was a British mathematician
and computer theorist. He defined, but did not build, the first
digital computer, later dubbed the Turing machine. Most of you
probably don't know that the compute you are using right now
is essentially a Turing machine. Conceptually, it has not changed
since he defined it.
Turing was also a hero. In WWII, while working for the British
government, he built a special computer which broke the German
Enigma code that they used for all secret government and military
communication. It allowed us to head the Germans off in several
situations. Without that, we might all be speaking German now.
Nonetheless, Turing was later hounded to suicide by his own government
when they inadvertently found out he was also a fruit.
In that action, the British government exhibited homophobia
in the extreme. Out of some insane primitive notions of morality,
they essentially murdered the man who had acted selflessly to
save Western civilization. To be sure, Turing was not the first
or the last man to be murdered by homophobic madmen. Our current
classic example of this madness resides in our White House. The
born again mad King George is currently our most rabid homophobic.
He out froths even Falwell and Robertson.
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